Vampires vs Zombies
USA 2004. Director: Vince D'Amato
Cast: Bonny Giroux, Maratama Carlson, Brinke Stevens

"The battle between the living dead and the undead has begun!" Holy crap! Travis and his daughter are driving through a zombified America looking for an old vampire slayer in white beard named The General (not played by Kenny Rogers). The duo run across Brinke Stevens (hot) who persuades them to take her daughter Carmilla with them because her other daughter is infected by a virus and she doesn't want her healthy daughter Carmilla sick as well. No sign of any battling zombies or vampires yet, though. Maybe it'll come later. By now we have learned that Carmilla is a vampire seductress wanted by The General. A goth-girl named Bob then kills a gas-station owner and then comes The General, thinking that Brinke's sick daughter is Carmilla so he kidnaps her and then kills her when she turns out to be homicidal vampire. A zombie then comes driving in a car and is stopped by Carmilla and Travis and killed with a hook and then Brinke turns up again, now dressed as a highway patrolman (but still hot). Okey, but give me my vampire & zombie battle please thank you very much. The making out in an old asylum and the weird flashbacks I can do without. A squad of zombie schoolgirls finally attacks and there's some fighting and a plastic chainsaw, but not much of a battle, and then, well, I'm lost. The plot has desolved into shit. Based on a story by Sheridan Le Fanu they say.

The battle between the living dead and the undead has begun... Yea sure. But not in this plotless waste of time. Vampires vs Zombies is about 80 minutes long but it took me like forever to get through (had to watch it in small chunks) and it all came to nothing at all what the title suggests. I could go on for hours about how bad the movie is (on a technical level and otherwise), but it's not just bad, it's as if no one even bothered to make it even that and if it wasn't for the sad fact that I'm comitted to sit through anything Brinke Stevens is in (admittedly it's not as fun as it used to be) I probably would have turned the movie off halfway, but most viewers will probably not even stay with it for ten minutes.