Mansion of the Living Dead
Spain 1981. Director: Jess Franco
Cast: Lina Romay, Eva Leon, Robert Foster, Mamie Kaplan

Four voluptuous girls arrives to some solitary Canary Island tourist resort, only to find the hotel suspiciously empty. Maybe they're all the beach they think, but the beach is just as empty. Spooky spooky. "Anything can happen to you here" says Carlo the hotel manager who also has his wife chained to his bed in his room. Nearby the hotel lies an old monastery inhabited by homicidal ragged old Templars of the living dead and it's not long before they discover the visiting girls. It turns out Carlo is a Templar himself and instead of killing Lina Romay (she's the wife of the director, only in a blonde wig) he wants her as his slave.

If one want to experience a Jess Franco movie of the kind they always warn you about, then for all its good and bad and worse this is it and definitely an aquired taste. That's not to say it's total crap. Most Franco movies have at least a couple of memorable shots (yes even Oasis of the Zombies do) and this is no exception. There's some knock-out cinematography here and there and a couple of mesmerizing long takes of people walking, proving that Franco can if he want to. The drawback is pretty much all the rest and nudity till you puke. The plot makes no sense, it doesn't even pretend to, people are bonking away at their rooms and not much happens for long chunks of time. Carlo ultimately feed his imprisoned wife with rat poison and then the Templars walk away as the end credits rolls. Although it wants to be (but not too hard), Tombs of the Blind Dead it ain't.