Valentine
USA 2001. Director: Jamie Blanks
Cast: Denise Richards, David Boreanaz, Katherine Heigl

Make no mistake about this turd. Valentine was made only for Denise Richards (The World Is Not Enough) to do what she does best. Which is to smile and shake what mama gave her. The screenwriters haven't even bothered to come up with any decent story.

As if it need to be explained, the plot has a young boy being refused a dance and humiliated at a school dance on, no shit, Valentine's Day. Years later the girls involved in the humiliation dies one after another, killed by some guy in a weird mask. Yes folks, it's Prom Night all over again. Add choice bits from Halloween and all the other classics you love or loathe and you have a movie so unoriginal, paper-thin and plain stone-dead someone ought to sue. Several times I found myself having forgot what it's about, why the girls are running scared down the hallways or why the masked killer do what he does. With Urban Legend director Jamie Blanks managed to offer, if nothing else, a fun little film with some fair twists and characters (and a much better cast). With Valentine he tries the same trick but never seem to get what he did right last time. Instead he has come up with the by far lamest post-Scream slasher so far. Even fans of Denise Richards are in for a huge disappointment. The star of the movie doesn't last longer than an hour. Highly unrecommended.

© The Inzomniac's Movie Madness Review.